Last month, I posted about Marilyn Monroe’s wet voice. According to psychologist David Huron, she used “oral wetness cues” by producing more saliva in her mouth, communicating a relaxed state of pleasure to her audience. The same phenomenon applies to you, too. Every time you speak, vocal nuances announce your emotional state to your audience, and these subtle involuntary reflexes affect the persuasiveness of your message.
How? Let’s say you work in sales. You’re making a call on a big prospective client. The presentation is going better than expected: nods, smiles, note taking. You’re high-fiving yourself inside. Your body language exhibits this confidence, as do your oral cues. Your prospect is consciously listening to what you’re saying, but unconsciously listening to how you’re saying it.
Now, not to be a buzzkill, but let’s imagine the presentation suddenly takes a different turn. As you unveil your big conclusion, the client’s face goes tight: “We tried that approach once. It was a major flop.” Uh-oh. Those pleasure-induced oral wetness cues? Gone. Your mouth feels dry, your vocal membranes dehydrating. Your voice becomes tinnier, as you swallow uncomfortably. Gulp.
You begin to experience the alarm trigger, which we’ll learn about shortly, with a blast of fight-or-flight adrenaline. Your body has betrayed you, communicating danger to the room. Your listeners sense the change, says Huron. Their own bodies begin to mirror your stress. Psychologically, they distance themselves. And just like that, ladies and gentlemen, the lust trigger has left the building.
What other emotional cues do you unconsciously communicate in your everyday interactions?
Nick Morgan, author of Trust Me and leader of Public Words, is one of America’s top communication coaches. I’ve worked closely with Nick since 2005, when I became a professional speaker after the release of my first book, Radical Careering. Nick describes how nonverbal language determines whether or not our ideas gain the fascination to influence others.“Every communication is two conversations: the verbal one (the content) and the nonverbal one (body language).” When someone’s words tell us one thing, but his body language and tone of voice tell us something else, which do we believe? Nick explains, “If the two are aligned, you can be a persuasive, authentic communicator. But if the two are not aligned, people believe the nonverbal communication every time.”
The next time you’re giving a presentation, listen to your own voice… and make sure it’s not unintentionally communicating a different message than your PowerPoint.
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Great article. I never knew this but as I was reading I was thinking about the times I have been pitching my idea and the emotions I was showing non-verbally. I will now make sure I am in the right mindset the whole time.