Start by eliminating wasteful frivolity!
How could a marketer squeeze every penny out of the Christmas brand? Earlier this week, I proposed a number of delightfully ridiculous suggestions. Now in Part II, let’s see how far a marketing company might go to monetize the Christmas corporation.
MEMO
TO: The Santa marketing team
Team, here are our recommendations for maximizing profits for the Christmas brand.
PARTNERSHIPS WE’D LIKE TO SEE:
1. Extra-Strength Mistletoe, brought to you by Viagra
2. “Super Silent Night” made possible by Bose noise-cancelling headphones
3. Mangers with crib-rocking feature, by Babies ‘R Us
4. Frankincense bath soaps by Body Shop
5. Virgin Mary cocktails for all ages, by V8
HEY! IDEAS FOR REVENUE:
1. Sell ad space on Santa’s sleigh to Expedia.com
2. Bethlehem theme ride at Disney
3. Have our network of mall Santas to build database of toy requests, and sell as trendcasting data to Target
4. Toy delivery merger with Fedex
5. Instead of handwritten letters to Santa, charge for calls with Skype
We look forward to discussing this with you. Please note: Our offices are closed this week for Christmas.
Sincerely,
Acme Marketing Company
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Okay, your turn. What do YOU think should be reinvented from the Christmas brand?
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Cut and paste these retweetable bits for your holiday cheer:
How Santa can increase profits for the Christmas brand (chock full of hyperbole!) » http://bit.ly/rOMLRc by @SallyHogshead
Christmas products we’d like to see: Extra-Strength Mistletoe, brought to you by Viagra » http://bit.ly/rOMLRc by @SallyHogshead
Christmas products we’d like to see: Frankincense bath soaps by Body Shop » http://bit.ly/rOMLRc by @SallyHogshead
Should Santa sell ad space on his sleigh to Expedia.com? » http://bit.ly/rOMLRc by @SallyHogshead
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Santa knows if you’ve been naughty or nice…with assistance from the Department of Homeland Security.
Mrs. Claus put in a request that people stop putting out milk and cookies and instead, reward Santa with badges on Foursquare for checking in at each house.
Partner with NORAD to sell ads on Google Earth.